Depression Of The Awakening


When I started this spiritual journey down the rabbit hole back in 1999 I didn’t know how far I would go and how dark it would get. The journey inward has been an experience to say the least. 

I have learned so much about myself and in the process of learning about myself, I learned about others. There is one quote that has really helped me along my journey:  “If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.” -Nikola Tesla. In the depth of my despair sometimes I remembered Dr. Masuro Emoto’s “Hidden Messages in Water” and that particular quote by Tesla. I began to understand just how frequency and vibration affects my mind, body and spirit. How we vibrate and resonate. How we are not alone. There is always someone vibrating on your frequency, the higher you get, the harder they are to find but they are out there.

Those that don’t understand what you are going through are just on another frequency than you. And that’s okay. We are all on our own unique journey.

If a person has never experienced the depth of the human experience they will not be able to understand the depth of your soul and what you are going through. It’s not that they never will, it’s just they can not at the level they are currently vibrating. This quote “I would rather walk with a friend in the dark than walk alone in the light” by Helen Keller really resonated with me recently because I felt life was easier when I didn’t dive too deep. I had friends I could talk to then but now it feels there are fewer people I can connect with on a spiritual level and at times, the journey feels so scary and lonely.

Talking to people now I feel almost alien. I feel some of the things I say are almost too incomprehensible to be comprehensible to them. Too impossible to be possible for them. Way too out there and out of reach of their current understanding. But I’ve witnessed so much on this journey and I understand that anything is possible. I  know there is magick in this world, some of you have witnessed it and believe in it, some have witnessed it and still don’t believe. That’s simply because your mind fears what it does not understand so it finds some logical way if explaining the truly magical. Sometimes I just want to talk to someone who gets it instead of… A. Having to explain it all in one conversation in hopes of someone understanding or B. Talking about things that lower my vibration and “B” is actually harder for me to do than “A.” lol
I feel sometimes like I’m alone on this magical journey of life and I experience and see things in a different way than most. I’ve lost friends and relationships because they currently do not understand the unique journey that I am on. It’s like the further we ascend, the lonelier the road feels.
It’s comforting to know that someone else out there understands; they are either going through it or have been through it. Makes us feel less alone. 

What I have learned is to just trust the process, don’t fear it. Everything you want is on the other side of fear. So let go of the past, forgive yourself and others, release the past and painful memories into the light. Embrace the now. Embrace the dark and the light. Feel it. Feel every emotion, all of it but don’t live there. Let it flow. Let it flow through you. Cry. Let those tears wash away the pain and water the soul. Tears are multi-purpose. Hydrate and let the water refuel your cells. That water is a conduit for energy, it will refuel you and give you life. And know that you are not alone on this journey. Many of us are going through it but don’t  have the words to explain what is happening or what we are feeling. I’m doing my best to remind you that you are not alone.

Ours isn’t a journey about money or material gain, ours is a soul journey. A journey of LOVE. A journey of gratitude for what we do have. A journey of service to others. A journey of transformation. A journey of experiencing the actual magick that exists in the universe. But what good is a magick show if there is nobody beside you to experience it with. I have faith I’ll find those like minded individuals very soon because it looks like more people are awakening to this new world and for that, I’m truly grateful to no longer be alone.

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